plucking daisies

Hello! Happy new year, people :) I thought of doing a post on how my 2015 went on the 31st of December but I was too lazy lol. 2015 was great. One of the things I've achieved was of course, passing my Pro 2. And starting clinical years, oh yeah haha. Having a new circle of friends; le Sado bros, oh boy I love them. I thank Allah for granting them in my life, these 6 people with very nice hearts and souls. Each with their own character, it was so fun having them around. Despite of having to be separated from le Sado bros, I got to make new friends with my posting mates. The only one I'm used to is Najat but we were separated in different small groups for each posting so... I still have to start all over again. Alhamdulillah, I can get along with them, still trying to get used to, to feel belong to the group but things are going well so far :) Having time spent with my family, friends, le Sado bros, meeting new people, making new friends and trying new thing...

Well today is one of the days I felt like the whole world is going against me. I am sad. Frustrated to be precise. Medical school is hard. It's nowhere near easy. I don't know if I can survive this :( Today, my lecturer said I wasn't prepared for the presentation. I did. But it wasn't enough, I guess. I forgot what I was supposed to say. I feel dumb. No, I'm not mad at my lecturer. Or maybe I do. I'm sad that he brought me down like that. If I didn't prepare for it, I won't be able to say anything. I'm nowhere near an excellent student. No, tak dapat 4 flat pun like what you said. Tak bangga pun dapat masuk medschool. Sikit pun tak... But I've tried. That doesn't mean I don't even make an effort. I know that in the end, we're the one who lose. I'm the one who can't perform. I'm the one who's going to fail. Haih. Then I start questioning myself again, why am I still here? "You only lose 4 years of...

Salam and hi. It's the end of Surgery posting this time. Well, I guess I'll only be blogging when I'm at the end of my postings now haha. Not to say I'm busy but I just can't afford to do a blog post. Rasa bersalah la, study tak, blog kemain lagi kan :p Surgery wasn't a very nice posting though, tak sukaaaaa -_- I don't know the reason why exactly. It doesn't feel good. Tak best. Macam... blergh. I'll be starting orthopedics after this. Orthopedic = anatomy. Generally, medicine itself is about anatomy. But faham tak macam ortho kan, kalau tak tau anatomy memang tak boleh pergi. Ortho is all about your muscles, bones, vessels zzzz. Kalau anatomy tak strong, memang kelaut weh T___T Camne ni camne niiii zzzzzzz. Rasanya everytime buat blog post baru mesti cerita pasal study kan. Yelah nothing interesting pun nak cerita sekarang ni. I'm stuck here in Kelantan and I should be studying. 2 tahun je lagi ada untuk betulkan apa yang tak betul...

Salam and hi there! Time sure do pass by very fast, ey? Dah 4th year dah Shahiela sekarang hahaha. Maknanya kan, less than 2 years je lagi insyaAllah, kita jumpa kat hospital ye ekeke. InsyaAllah la, doakan tau :'> 4th year is actually very different. 4th & 5th year ni dah clinical phase la. Maknanya most of the time are spent in the ward seeing patients. Muka kami ni la yang asyik datang tanya soalan bebanyak tu. Bukan tanya takde faedah tau, we learn through history taking. Every year we'll hear the same advice from our lecturers tau, Go to the wards, see your patients. Your patients are your textbook. Learn from them. Haa sungguh. Sebabnya, tak semua yang kita baca dalam buku tu, sama dengan apa yang pesakit alami. I didn't mean to say takyah baca buku langsung. Tapi apa yang kita baca dalam buku tu kena jugak seiring dengan apa yang patients go through. Compare lah dari situ. Clinical years ni penat. I'm currently in paediatrics posting, my...

Temper lah bukan tempe. -_- If you guys know me, close enough that I start showing my dark side, then you should know that I am pretty short-tempered. If you didn't, then you already know now. Yay *throws confetti* Trust me, I've tried so hard to control my temper almost all the time but I just lose control, anyway... Ingat best ke marah orang? Bukan orang yang kena marah je bengang tapi lepas marah orang tu, aku pun bengang dengan diri sendiri tau. Orang gila je yang tak rasa pape lepas marah orang (oh dengan orang syok sendiwi). Rasa bersalah ok, marah orang... Lelagi kalau benda tu kecil je, tak payah marah pun sebenarnya. T_T Yelah kalau kau marah sorang-sorang takpelah. Ni kalau dah marah orang, kenalah minta maaf balik. Ingat senang ke nak minta maaf? Eh malu tau tak. Haa padan muka kau siapa suruh kau marah tadi? Kan dah kata tak boleh control eee tak paham lagi ke :< Kekadang tu bukan nak cakap apalah, orang lain pun dah tau aku ni memang cepat ...

Assalamualaikum and hi! So I've just finished my Professional Examination II. Like, finally. I did my best so now, I'll just leave everything to Allah. Hopefully everyone will make it through. InsyaAllah amiin, please pray for us too okay? :) Pejam celik pejam celik, dah 3 tahun dah dekat medschool ni. Cepat je masa berlalu. No, masa je berlalu cepat, the torture tu... Allah je yang tahu. Kadang-kadang tu ada jugak terfikir, "eh aku kat medschool kot. Nanti dah grad jadi doktor. Biar betul niiiii". You know, I doubt myself a lot. Like A LOTTTTTTTTTT. Sebab tulah kadang-kadang bila hilang semangat tu, I fall real hard. Honestly speaking, I got depressed. That is probably why I'm not attached to other people as much now compared to how I was back then, I don't like to be alone. Now, I enjoy being alone as much as being with my friends. So it's like balanced already haha :p As usual, speaking of Pro exam, the result day will be the most tormentin...

Assalamualaikum and hi again! I've neglected this blog again... Did a few attempts to put up an update before this but didn't manage to finish even one. It's not that I have nothing to say, I just can't. There's time when you suddenly has so many things to share and it all went missing when you're ready to hit the keyboard. Haa gitulah ceritanya. Eheh. I'm back now, anyway. But I can't say for how long until I go missing again... So now, it's approaching the end of my third year in medical school. Just finished my Selanjar 3 and long case exam a few days ago. Exams were always a pain in the ass for me. Struggled so hard during my study week. Yelah suka sangat study last minute kan, padan muka. It was crazy I tell you, crazy. That's just Selanjar 3 and long case, Pro 2 ni tak taulah macam mana. But good thing this time, we have 3 weeks of study week for our Pro 2. Well, at least bolehlah bernafas sikit kan. Haha. I h...