Tuesday, October 3, 2017

LONGEST HIATUS EVER

Hola guys! I wonder if anyone still blogs nowadays haha. When was the last update again? Don't know if there's still people reading but I'm gonna do an update soon.

The question is... how soon?

Probably in a few days time. Kot. Hahahaha. InsyaAllah soon.

Just for a quick update, I'm done with medical school! YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

I'm gonna tell you guys a lot of things that has happened, basically a sum up of my medical school journey. Need to put it down somewhere so that I can read it back later, for memory purpose :')

Till then! xx Shaa <3 p="">

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Blergh

25 weeks

173 days, 13 hours and 39 minutes

.....

to Professional Exam 3.

TAPI FAHAM TAK KENAPA SEORANG SHAHIELA MALAS SANGAT YA RABBI TOLONGLAH RAJIN SIKIT BUKANNYA PANDAI PUN BILA NAK SEDAR DIRI AND START MOVING UGH TIME ISN'T GOING TO WAIT FOR YA HELLOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T PASS IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING PLEASE SAMPAI BILA NAK KENA JADI MALAS CAMNI THEN BEBEL KAT DIRI SENDIRI BUT THE SAME THING HAPPENED NO IMPROVEMENT SHAHIELA YOU'RE TERRIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Do I still have any readers? You guys don't have to read my blog anymore. I'm sorry. I'm a very bad blogger. All I do is rant how terrible I am right now. Hahaha sorry guys

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

I Must Be Perfect

Salam & hi there.

I bought a novel entitled "Girl Online" recently and just started reading it. It's about a girl starting a blog anonymously to share what she feels with other people. The first post was about things that make her anxious. Those things are somewhat similar for me as well. So that triggers me to blog today and I'm going to talk about...


Not yours but mine. We probably share the same insecurities... especially if you're a girl. Eh girl lagi ke ni hahahaha biar ah. Or maybe even if you're a guy... it's okay. Insecurities is not gender biased. It hits everyone. EVERYONE.

I realized that as I grow up, I have more insecurities. There are so many things to feel insecure about. Kadang-kadang tu memang kita tak perasan pun yang kita insecure. Have you ever come across this situation where you see that someone has this special thing about himself/herself then you start checking for their flaws? Hahaha that's nasty, no? I do. Most of the time, takde niat buruk pun. Cuma macam dalam hati, "Eh dia ni takkanlah perfect sangat. Mesti ada kekurangan. Hm let's see" *pastu scan through satu-satu benda pasal dia hahaha* Some people may label that as jealousy. As for me, that is some sort of a defense mechanism so that your own self esteem does not goes down the hill very badly. Haha at least, that's true in my case.

It's not good to have a very low self esteem. I sometimes have very bad self esteem, there are times that I don't feel like I can do anything good. I don't have anything special - not pretty, not a genius, not admirable etc. It can be serious at times especially when it comes to my studies. Berapa ratus kali fikir nak putus asa je sebab tak confident. Nak present case ketaq, nak approach patient takut, nak masuk wad pun fikir banyak kali, nak tanya soalan tapi tak berani... 1001 problems, you name it.

Bila nak putus asa dengan studies pastu fikir what else can I do instead of being a doctor.

Hm...
....
........
.............

Orang kata tinggi, boleh la jadi model ke pramugari ke. Boleh kot. Maybe lagi senang daripada medschool. Hahahahaha lupa pulak diri sendiri ni pemalu dan self esteem yang low tadi tu. Ingat senang nak feeling cantik depan kamera? Nak posing depan photographer? Photographer yang tak kenal pulak tu? Eh jap... cantik ke? Cukup cantik ke? Hidung dah la tak mancung, pipi tembam pulak tu. Nak kata kurus pun takde la kurus sangat. Model kena la kurus. Photogenic ke? Kalau selfie tu beratus amik, adjust angle konon. Itu pun tak semestinya ada yang elok. And back to the first sentence of this paragraph, even being tall makes me feel insecure sometimes. Don't ask why because I really don't have any reason to feel that way.

Okay lupakan.

See, those are just regarding studies and physical looks. Tu baru sikit. Belum lagi cakap pasal benda lain. Banyaklah. Semua benda nak insecure. Nak buat something, dah fikir dulu sampai future. Overthinking is another problem here. When you think too much and you can think of 1000 possibilities of bad outcomes, you will go nowhere. You'll stay at the same old spot feeling miserable and useless.

BUT (!) we should not let our insecurities take over our lives. Confidence is silent but insecurities are loud. You know, whenever we feel down and insecurities set in, always reflect back things that make you feel alive. Look at those people who are more unfortunate - those who barely get to eat, those who have no home and shelter, those who are born with defects... Not to feel that we are any superior than them, naudzubillah but to remember that there are people who are battling a tougher fight than us that makes those insecurities nothing compared to their struggle.

They say, those who are content with their lives will always be happy. So every once in a while, every single time you start feeling insecure about anything, start counting your blessings. Even waking up in the morning, having enough oxygen to breath in is already a blessing. I'm not saying that it's going to be an easy thing to do (I still struggle once in a while), let's remind each other, okay?

Overthinking kills happiness.
Insecurities kill self-esteem.
Lies kill trust.


Till then, bye! xx

Friday, July 15, 2016

Hair care 101

Salam & hi semua!

Before I start babbling, I'd like to wish you a Selamat Hari Rayaaaaaaaaaaaaa! :D Dah Syawal ke berapa entah ni baru nak wish hahaha.

Harini nak cerita sikit pasal penjagaan rambut. A few of my friends have been asking what's my hair care routine... Sebenarnya kita segan la sebab kita tak buat apa-apa pun haaaahaha. Alhamdulillah memang takde masalah rambut. So kita buat yang basic je. Takde pun pergi saloon untuk buat treatment ke apa, bukan sebab tak nak tapi mahal laa. If you can afford it, then why not ;)

Anyway, since orang tanya, kita jawab je lah. Here's a few things I do with my hair, I'm not sure if this routine keep my hair manageable or it's memang like that LOL. Kalau ada yang nak try, boleh la try. Kalau rasa macam kurang daripada rutin korang pun, bolehlah tambah. Ok? :D

Rule number 1 is to wash your hair everyday. Dulu masa freehair zaman sekolah kan, I wash my hair every 2 days sebab ada orang cakap tak elok cuci rambut hari-hari sebab nanti cepat rosak. Nope. That is very wrong. Kalau bertudung, laaaaagilah kena cuci rambut setiap hari okay. Kenapa kena cuci rambut? Simple, to wash off dirt (habuk segala bagai yang kau kumpul sekeliling) and to clean your scalp (especially when you sweat!). Takde la rambut berminyak dan berkelemumur. Akak nak cakap sikit ni, kelemumur adalah benda yang wajib dielakkan tak kiralah untuk lelaki ke perempuan. Sumpah, having dandruffs is NOT cool at all. Guys please, so kalau ada yang sampai gugur kat baju tu... *tepuk dahi* The best time to wash your hair is at night sebab senanglah kita dah duduk kat rumah je kan. Bolehlah ambil masa keringkan rambut lepas tu.

Macam mana nak cuci rambut? Run water through your hair, make sure it reaches your scalp. Pastu apply shampoo. Shampoo ikut sukalah mana yang sesuai, kan ada banyak jenis. My favourite since zaman sekolah is Dove. Wangi sangat ♥ Warna pink ke biru ke oren ke tak kisah. Apply shampoo pastu gosoklah kulit kepala sikit, jangan garu kuat sangat sebab kulit kepala kita sensitif, firm but not harsh k haha. Masa ni lah nak urut-urut sikit kepala tu :3 Dah siap, tinggalkan untuk 5 minit, sambil tu boleh sabun ke scrub mana yang patut dulu. Lepastu bilas rambut macam biasa. Then, use hair conditioner. Hair conditioner paling kita suka antara banyak rutin lain ni. Haritu terkejut jugak sebab ingatkan lelaki je tak pakai conditioner, rupa-rupanya perempuan pun ramai yang tak guna conditioner. Conditioner untuk buat rambut lembut macam rambut model iklan shampoo tu haha. No, seriously, this is a very important step. Conditioner ni apply macam biasa tapi elakkan daripada kena kulit kepala sebab they say it can cause hair fall. Not sure if it's true but that's what I've been practising all these while. Dah apply kat rambut, tinggalkan untuk 5 minit jugak. Masa ni hampa gosok gigi dulu ka cuci muka dulu ka. Pastu bilas sampai hilang. Siapa yang tak pernah try conditioner, try okay. It makes a big difference.

Next, keringkan rambut. I rarely rub my hair with the towel. Make it a habit to only dab your hair with the towel lightly as long as there are no more water dripping, then that's enough already. Kenapa eh tak boleh gosok rambut guna towel? Nanti rambut kering and frizzy. Bila dah kering, takde effect rambut flowy idaman tu hahahaha no, seriously memang betul nanti jadi frizzy. So let it dry by itself la, takyah beria gosok rambut tu. This can be a challenge if you're wearing a hijab and you're going out after washing your hair. A hairdryer would do you a favor. I don't use a hairdryer because it can make your hair frizzy as well especially if you don't apply anything to your hair to keep it moisturized. Keep in mind that not everyone will face the same problem but it's a good practice if you can avoid things that can damage your hair kan. Oh sama jugak dengan sikat rambut. Avoid combing your hair when it's wet. Comb your hair only when it's dry to avoid hair fall. Biasalah rambut gugur lepas cuci lagi-lagi yang rambut panjang so kita elakkan mana yang boleh okay. Bila rambut dah kering, if rajin boleh apply leave-in conditioner. Shahiela malas so takdelah buat yang ni. This is optional.

Tying your hair. Avoid tying your hair with tight hairbands. I seldom tie my hair, I prefer using a hair clip because it's easier to manage. Lagipun getah rambut selalu hilang hahahaha. Kalau yang pakai tudung pulak, I understand the struggle of having extra laundry untuk cuci tudung but please wash your headscarves regularly. I believe wearing a clean tudung has it's benefit as well especially your scarf inners okay. Tudung sarung tu paling bahaya, I totally understand hahahaha. Tudung yang dah pakai 1/2 hari, takyah la ulang pakai hari lain k. Even kalau pakai 2-3 jam when you're outside under the hot sun (so you sweat...), jangan gantung kat kerusi tu dah eh haha.

For those yang suka dye, curl, rebonding rambut, you need extra care. If you can avoid it, then avoid it. But if you want to do it, then sekali-sekala kenalah buat hair treatment so that rambut tak kering, frizzy and eventually rosak. I see a lot of my friends doing it and some memang jaga so cantiklah rambut dia tapi ramai jugak yang rambut rosak jadi kering sangat sebab tak jaga. Again, it depends on your hair type jugak, some memang ada soft silky hair so buat apa kat rambut dia pun still cantik. You know your hair better :)

For additional care, kalau rajin and nak jimat, buatlah hair treatment at home. Beli hair mask then buatlah seminggu sekali kalau rajin. Serius kalau rajin sebab Shahiela tak rajin so takdelah buat ni hahahaha. I guess that's all I have, may you have lesser bad hair day after this! Till then, bye :B

Belanja selfie pagi Raya satu :p

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Medical posting

Nope, not the end of posting yet this time. Haha.

I just feel like blogging out of a sudden lol. So what's up guys? I'm currently at the end of week 3 of medical posting. Another 3 weeks to go. Anyway, I'm going to have my short case exam next week. I'm so scared T_T as usual. Being the usual me kan, memang penakut weh setiap kali exam.

Medical is one of the hardest posting for me. There are so much to learn, so much to digest, so much to take in. Basically it's everything from head to toe. All systems altogether tau tak T_____T Banyak gila, I swear. Semua pun lain-lain. Physical examination generally ada 4 je tapi tu pun susah sangat nak hadam. Tak taulah, semakin banyak belajar, semakin banyak tak tau. Entah lah 3 tahun lepas belajar apa, so superficial. My knowledge is very, very superficial. Memang dasar study untuk exam je, sekarang dah rasa the bad part of doing that :(

Examination setiap lecturer lain-lain, semua ada style sendiri. Ikut cara Dr A, dia nak camni tapi maybe Dr B tak setuju. Belum masuk Dr C sampai Dr Z. Tu tak salahkan la, yang penting basic tu. Dapat perform tu satu hal, nak kena interpret satu hal lagi. Even that 4 types of physical examinations pun still tak master sampai sekarang. Semalam ada short case teaching, I was the one who's in charge of performing the physical examination la. Mula-mula ingatkan nak kena buat respiratory system, sekali Dr suruh buat neurological examination. Ha-ha-ha. Terus beristighfar on the spot hahahaha. Sehari sebelum tu dah terasa dah sebenarnya tapi tengok ala kadar je. Prepare untuk respiratory, cardiovascular & abdomen examinations ja. Nasib baik bawa jugak CNS kit, kalau tak... hahaha memang nampak sangatlah tak prepare. (Examination aku kelaut jugak... xD)

Bila camtu kan, malunyaaaaa dengan Dr, patient & isteri dia hahaha. Pakcik tu relax je. Sangat cooperative. Nasib baik dapat pakcik comel sebagai patient. At least kuranglah sikit cuak tu bila pakcik tu cooperate and sangat membantu selain buat lawak so boleh gelak hilangkan nervous sikit haha. Semoga cepat sembuh pakcik, terima kasih bagi saya examine pakcik :)

What I wanna say is that medical posting ni susah :/ Banyak benda nak kena belajar but very interesting I'd say. Kena sangat critical in managing cases. Hari-hari case lain-lain masuk. Not to say other postings takyah critical and not interesting tapi contoh macam ortho, dia lagi direct and specific to musculoskeletal system. Medical kena cover jantung, paru-paru, otak, buah pinggang dannn macam-macam lagi.

Tu jelah nak cerita untuk harini. Korang doakan saya lulus posting ni ye? Thank you :3