3rd decade

Back here again after 3 years. Hi :)

Just felt like writing again today. I’m on leave as things usually goes out of hand if I work on my birthday so let’s just skip that today. So where do I start now?

I’m now at one of the districts in Sabah, came here last year after I got the permanent post. Didn’t thought it would turn out like this. Being a doctor has not been the way I have imagined it would be back then when I’ve decided to go to medical school. What I had in mind was— graduate from medical school after 5 years, do housemanship for 2 years then become MO for 2 years and join masters program for 4 years and become a specialist. That’s the timeline I had in mind, mostly after looking at my brother in law’s life.

However, Allah had a different plan for me.

I finished housemanship 2 weeks later than I was supposed to (handed in my logbook late for ED posting :p), haven’t decided what I want to do by this time— was aiming for FamMed since undergrad but then thought I haven’t explore hospital life enough yet. So innocent, Shahiela :’) I haven’t try the oncall life, how it feels like having to work for 32 hours straight… haven’t explore other fields like ophthal/ENT/psy. Kalau diberikan pilihan untuk cakap dengan diri sendiri sekarang, rasa nak bagi penampaq satu kali yihhh hahahaha. So that is why I went on to apply hospitals for my MO placement instead of KK. So I thought I wanted to go surgical based postings so I applied ortho & surgical. I enjoyed ortho when I was a HO but it was my first posting so not much of experience that time but it’s okay. The younger Shahiela has a bit more curiosity than she is now haha. But nope, I got into anaesthesiology instead. A field that is so foreign, only had 2 weeks of exposure during medschool. The only thing I remember was the ABG interpretation class we had that took 2-3 hours to finish which made me so confused and concluded that I will never do anaesth in the future. Spoke too soon, ey? Haha. Then Covid happened so was just adjusting and adapting… and probably got a bit too comfortable. No plans to go for masters because I thought anaesthetists are for smart people only and definitely not me.

3 years passed by and here I am at a small district in Sabah. Never thought I’d still be servicing Sabah at this point of my life. Going to Sabah is one thing but also, I’m currently doing paediatrics *insert clown emoji*. Surprise! :’) And I’ve been here for a year plus now, still doing paeds but being here makes me realised that I really like doing anaesth though all I do was whining that anaesth is difficult back then.

Before I sleep yesterday, I was reflecting about my 20s. Time passed by so fast. In my 20s, I was busy with studying and transitioning to work life. I am no longer excited about celebrating birthdays now, maybe because I’m getting older haha but also it’s a year closer going back to Him. Turning 30 isn’t so bad, many said that this is the time to do a lot of things. So I hope I’ll be able to do the same too, ultimately, be better in every aspect possible. As I turn older, I realise I’ve also changed— oh I did the MBTI test and I am now a INFJ instead of ESFP. I felt like I don’t enjoy doing content creating as much as I used to during Covid era. Probably because we can go out now and have better things to do hahaha. I will conclude that I am an ambivert because the extrovert/introvert marker is slightly more by only a few percent, anyway.

I guess that’s all for now, till next time. Happy 31st birthday, Shahiela!







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